Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Carry on~

So I've been lazy and playing a lot of videogames lately. Namely Final Fantasy XI Online.
I first quit this game back in 2002, three months or so after it came out in retail, because nobody wanted to do the oh-so-cumbersome level un-cap quests. I spent a couple of weeks trying to find parties for it, but not a single person wanted to do these quests.
So I got my original character back recently, in a special event that allowed me to revive my character as if he'd never been gone.
I found several people that were willing to help with those quests this time, and much more. LOL, one character in particular, "Pletwo", actually helped me un-cap my level TWICE, single-handedly! And also went as far as helping me get all of my AF Armor pieces (High-level Job-specific armor)!
I also got mixed up in a group of people that were using a very unique group leveling up technique that could jump you from level 10 to level 20 in ONE battle. They were very nice and generous.

So back to the lazy part. I have been neglecting house-work and other small chores.
I have also had chunks of short-term memory loss. I am willing to admit that the game has hindered my will to do house work, but I blame my short-term memory loss on my late-night job, coupled with taking care of my sweet little boy Zack during the daytime while mommy's at work. He's very clingy and tempermental, partly due to teething.

I feel like I've been doing everything wrong lately. I'm constantly in trouble for things I do. I go to great lengths to do things over-the-top correctly, and miss the smallest detail, then -boom-, suddenly I've completely destroyed all of my work. For example, I might have had a great day with my boy; taken him out for a walk, given him a bath, even learned something cute and new. But if he starts fussing and then she finds out that I forgot to give him tylenol that day, then I'm in the dog house for the rest of the night, possibly through the next day as well. :'-(

I've been very depressed by all of the things that I seem to be doing wrong. I know though, that I've gotta find some way to cheer myself up, for my sake, Taneisha's sake, and definitely Zack's sake as well.

My lovely wife Taneisha has become severely frustrated with my forgetfulness, and did blame FFXI for it. She came out with one of those questions like "so what is it going to take for you to start remembering things? Am I going to have to write them down for you? etc.". I had no way to answer this. I figured that since she already had an answer for me, that I could not improve the solution any further. She kept asking though, and I had to say something. I said that I didn't know what she wanted me to say, and that I felt like I was being judged, not actually questioned.
That was a big mistake, I see now. I could have just lived with it I guess, but now I have to live with her not speaking with me, not looking at me, and not being close to me. :'-(

My mother-in-law thinks that Taneisha might be pregnant, and this could be part of the reason she's always mad at me.

I'm many things, when it comes to this subject:

Excited: That I may have another child on the way. A playmate for Zack. :-D

Worried: Because we don't have a proper house for multiple children. We currently live in a one-bedroom apartment. We're working on getting a house, but the process seems to be very slow, and I hope we can get one in time for the possible arrival of our little one. :-)

Sad: Because Taneisha went through so many horrible things to deliver our boy Zack. She had chest pains, dental issues, and finally a very hard birth, resulting in a scary c-section. :'-(
It was a nightmare to see her shaking like she was, and falling asleep, all the while feeling the tugs from the operation, and I could see the blood being extracted in some container. :'-( I was so scared. I was so relieved when we heard our baby crying, but the worry never left my mind either. I felt a lot better when it was time to go home.

Confident: That I will love our next as much as our first. I'm also confident that our next will be as beautiful as our first. :-)

Maybe our next baby will say "mama" first instead of "dada", which was against my wishes. lol

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